July 14, 2019 ~ Sun opposite Pluto

Today the Sun is opposing Pluto, undertaker, bringer of endings, revolutionary, lord of the underworld. As we move, this month, between eclipses, I have been trying to take time to understand a few things. Acknowledging past pain has always been a half-in, half-out experience for me. I know it is there but don’t know what to do about it. Knowing that negative experiences that have come to pass have shaped my brain, my heart, my responses to things in the present moment—this has always been something I intellectually know, understand, and tell other people who have similar struggles. But imparting that wisdom to myself, my own practice, my own daily routine, that’s a world of difficulty for me.

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With the Sun shining in opposition to Pluto, we’re coming to terms with what’s been kept in the dark. My eighth house placements have always made it so that I am attracted to the darkness, feel comfortable in it. It has taken me a while to realize that that doesn’t mean I can’t have the Sun, too. After all, the heroes of myth go down into the underworld to meet their shadow, and then come back up again to the dayworld, do they not? Persephone comes to mind. Finding the balance of pain and release, shadow and pleasure, mourning and naming, going through the motions vs. really breathing, being present, this is all alive, alight, and here now. 

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My Capricorn rising self is going through what feels like a significant transformation with the eclipses in Cancer/Capricorn. How I serve and meet others, and how I serve and really make eye contact with my own self—something I haven’t truly been able to do yet—is wrapped up in this experience. I know what it feels like for me, and from the beautiful array of eclipse readings I have done this month, I know it hits us all so differently, so significantly. These are powerful days, my darlings. With five planets retrograde and the Moon conjunct the Nodes of Fate, there’s not much we can obtain in the way of answers. I guess I just wanted to come here and say hello, say thank you, and say I am here, your astrologer, thinker, dreamer, friend. 

 

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